| What is the greatest obstacle in
ourselves to our consecration to impersonal work?
Regarded from the most general point of view, this
obstacle is indistinguishable from the very reason for the work
to be accomplished: it is the present state of imperfection of physical
Matter.
Since we are made up of an imperfect substance,
we cannot but share in this imperfection.
Therefore, whatever degree of perfection, consciousness
or knowledge is possible to our inmost being, the very fact that
it incarnates in a physical body gives rise to obstacles to the
purity of its manifestation; and on the other hand, the aim of its
incarnation is victory over these obstacles, the transformation
of Matter. We must therefore not be surprised or saddened if we
encounter obstacles within ourselves, for every single being on
earth has difficulties to overcome.
The cause of this imperfection may become apparent
to us from two points of view, one general, the other individual.
From the general point of view, the imperfection
of Matter comes from its lack of receptivity to the more subtle
forces which are to be manifested through it. But this lack of receptivity
itself has many causes, and to explain them would lead us too far
away from the heart of our subject. Besides, I think that, in the
last analysis, all difficulties lie in the illusion of personality,
that is, the illusion that one thing can be distinct from the whole.
To avoid speculating on the necessity of this illusion
for the very existence of the universe as we know it, I shall consider
the question solely from the terrestrial and human angle.
This illusion of a self separate from the whole
brings about two tendencies within ourselves.
The first comes from an unconscious need for identification
with the whole. But by the very fact of the illusion of personality,
each one conceives this identification only as an absorption into
himself and seeks more or less to be the centre of this whole. As
a result, in proportion to his intellectual or physical strength,
each one attempts to draw to himself everything he is conscious
of in order to continually increase his personality.
This is the outcome of a desire which is justified
in essence to become conscious of everything but ignorant in expression,
for if a way to become conscious of everything does exist, it certainly
does not lie in trying to draw everything to oneself, which is absurd
and unrealisable, but in identifying one's consciousness with the
consciousness of the whole, which demands the very opposite action
and attitude.
The second tendency, which is in fact a normal
consequence of the first, is an excessively conservative spirit,
a fixity of the whole nature intellectual, moral and physical which
makes it impossible for us to transform ourselves as rapidly as
we should in order to be always in harmony with the law of universal
progress.
It is as if the individual were afraid of not being
different enough from others if he encouraged too free and large
an exchange with the whole.
Moreover, this fixity comes from the desire to
appropriate and the error of believing that we can own something
in the universe. We think that the elements we are made of are our
own. Consciously or unconsciously, we want to hold on to them for
ourselves while at the same time we are quite ready to add to them
by drawing other elements to ourselves; but we forget that since
there is no real separation, we can receive nothing if we do not
give.
We must be a link in the chain: the link does not
grow bigger at the expense of its neighbours. But when it faithfully
transmits the current it has received, it will receive another,
and the more complete and swift its transmission, the more it will
be brought into contact with a great number of forces or things
for it to use or manifest. And so, little by little, by taking and
keeping nothing for itself, it can become aware of everything by
communing with everything.
Foreseeing the objections which could be raised,
I shall add this:
When I speak of the illusion of personality, I
am not denying that each one has a special mode of manifestation.
Differentiation does not mean division.
Why should there be so many countless links in
the chain if each one did not have its own function?
And here another comparison is needed to complete
the first, for any comparison is necessarily incomplete.
If we consider ourselves as cells of an immense
living organism, we shall immediately understand that a cell, which
is dependent for its own life on the life of the whole and can separate
itself from it only at the risk of destruction, does in fact have
its own special part to play in the whole.
But this role is precisely what is most profoundly
spontaneous in our being; no egoistic assertion of our personality
is needed to discover it. On the contrary, the more fully we give
ourselves to an impersonal action, the more this role will gain
in strength and clarity within us. But this role is precisely what
constitutes our true individuality, since it is our own special
way of manifesting the Divine Essence, which is one in everything
and in all.
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