I am Thine for eternity. - The Mother

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To a disciple who is identified in the text simply by his initial, R.

 

Mother,

In October or November I used to get my supply of dry fruits and persimmons. Please see if something is possible.

What is truly needed, will surely come.
Blessings.

 

1964

 

Mother,

As far as work is concerned, surely I will be happy to welcome some willing hands. I get nervous when the question of finance comes up, and giving out more dal,oil, spices, etc. comes in that category.

It is not so much a question of finance but of rationing, it seems (scarcity of grains, etc.).

But I propose that we should simply do what is right and fair, without thinking too much of the future, leaving it (the future) to the care of the Divine’s Grace.

With love and blessings.

 

1964

 

Mother,
There was another letter from X demanding money and charcoal...

Useless to say that my force and help are intensely with all those who, along with me, are fighting this state of affairs and all I ask them is to be confident and to endure.

The Truth shall triumph.
Bon courage.
With love and blessings.

11 February 1965

 

(In February 1965 a number of Ashram premises were stoned, looted or burned, ostensibly as part of an anti-Hindi protest. When the Ashram’s main compound was
stoned, many of those inside went out to repel the attackers. The disciple,however, remained inside the compound, for he did not feel any impulse to physically resist the threat. A strong force like an electric current was flowing through his body, and inwardly he was calm. Describing this experience to the Mother, he concluded:)

 

I felt that if I could be confident and peaceful and call for your help, then nothing would be able to touch the Ashram. I even moved about in the Ashram in the same state. This lasted till after eleven in the night.

I have had a taste of this experience before also, but it never lasted for more than a few moments. Now I am beginning to doubt whether this was not a cloak to hide my timidity.

 

Never doubt such an experience.

It is exactly the condition in which everybody ought to have been, the condition I was bringing down on the Ashram, and if it had been shared by all nothing could have happened, all the most violent attacks would have been in vain.

Blessings .

 

18 February 1965

 

Mother,
I pray to you to save India from the Indians.

Yes, it seems rather necessary!
Love and blessings.

25 February 1965

 

Mother,

I wish to know whether the servants could be allowed to come for the raw vegetables from the west door of the Dining Room.

 

You know that I am not enthusiastic about servants handling the food — but many people seem to like it, through laziness, I suppose!

 

26 February 1965

 

Mother,

In the next issue of “Purodha” I am giving a note by Y about the attack on the Ashram — it is just a statement of what happened without sentimental colouring, accompanied by your statement.

 

I am sending a copy of the statement such as it will appear in the Bulletin and must appear henceforth in all the publications who want to speak of it; as you will see, I want to keep only the constructive part. The rest has done its work and is no more necessary.

 

9 March 1965

 

(The Mother’s statement on the attack on the Ashram)

A Declaration

 

Some people looking at things superficially, might ask how is it that the Ashram exists in this town for so many years and is not liked by the population?

The first and immediate answer is that all those in this population who are of ahigher standard in culture, intelligence, good will and education not only have welcomed the Ashram but have expressed their sympathy, admiration and good-feeling. Sri Aurobindo Ashram has in Pondicherry many sincere and faithful followers and friends.

This said, our position is clear.
We do not fight against any creed, any religion.
We do not fight against any form of government.
We do not fight against any social class.
We do not fight against any nation or civilisation.
We are fighting division, unconsciousness, ignorance, inertia
and falsehood.

We are endeavouring to establish upon earth union, knowledge, consciousness, Truth, and we fight whatever opposes the advent of this new creation of Light, Peace, Truth and Love.

 

16 February 1965

 

Mother,

I am told that the recent violence against the Ashram was the result of Mahakali’s wrath and you are supposed to have said that this was not the last. I thought that it was an act of the hostile forces. If truly it is Mahakali’s work,then is it to be welcomed?

 

People always deform what I say. It is better not to listen to them. But I have written something on the subject and will send a copy to you soon.

There is no question of welcoming destruction, but of learning the lesson it gives.

 

9 March 1965

 

(The Mother’s statement on the working of Kali)

Behind all destructions, whether the immense destructions of Nature, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, cyclones, floods, etc., or the violent human destructions, wars, revolutions, revolts, I find the power of Kali, who is working in the earth-atmosphere to hasten the progress of transformation.

All that is not only divine in essence but also divine in realisation is by its very nature above these destructions and cannot be touched by them. Thus the extent of the disaster gives the measure of the imperfection.

The true way of preventing the repetition of these destructions is to learn their lesson and make the necessary progress.

 

10 March 1965

 

Mother,

I am grateful for the message that you have sent. Is it only for me or can it be put in “Purodha” also? I would like to know why one should not pray for Mahakali’s intervention when the destruction that she brings is only for hastening your work. I have seen that when you scold, one feels your hand supporting from behind, so that we may not fall. If a few blows from her can make us go straight on your path, then why not welcome her?

The message will appear in the Bulletin. Better leave it for that. It would be too easily understood in a partial mental way — and the results are rather disastrous. She is not the only power at work in the world. There is also Love and Grace.

Blessings.

 

16 March 1965

 

Mother,

her some work, but not in the Dining Room, not in the school, nothing that may put the least strain! It may be that you do not even know her and she is going on merrily with “Mother’s permission”.

Outwardly the whole scene is becoming more and more gloomy. But you are there and I hope you are sufficiently powerful.

 

I do not know if I am powerful or not (because it is not sure where is the I), but the Lord is all-powerful — that is beyond all doubts, and He is looking into the matter.

Love.

 

20 April 1965

 

(The Mother favoured the use of coconut oil in preparing the Dining Room food, but most of the diners preferred groundnut oil. The disciple explained this to the Mother
and then asked whether some Ashram-grown coconuts could be sold in the market to finance the purchase of groundnut oil.)

This coconut affair is one of the great absurdities of the Ashram. At one time I was feeling like protesting against this stupidity. Now I smile and feel like letting them do as they like. On one point still I insist, it is the availability of green coconuts for drinking, because it is very beneficial for health. Apart from that, the ripe ones can be sold and groundnut oil bought for consumption in the kitchen.

With love and blessings.

 

5 June 1965

 

Mother,
A friend who comes here often put a question to me. I simply laughed and evaded it because I do not know the answer. He says that formerly when he came he used to find some sort of austerity and economy. Now when the condition in the country is worse, he finds lavish
prosperity. From this he concludes that the Mother had taken all the forces of poverty etc. upon the Ashram,worked upon them and banished them; now it is only the after-effects that are visible in the country and very soon the country will be prosperous.

It is a way of saying something, some action, on a much wider scale, and difficult to put into words.

 

13 June 1965

 

(The following letter, addressed to the disciple, was forwarded to the Mother for decision.)

“R, May I draw your kind attention to the following: one gentleman from our village has come here. He is praying earnestly for staying here. He is ready to do any sort of work. He knows a little of gardening and seems to be laborious. He says he is accustomed to do hard work though he is aged. May you kindly do the needful.Thanks.”

Forwarded to the Supreme.

 

The man is above 70. He looks very old. If Mother wants to keep him, Y can try him in the Maret Annexe Garden. Z will lodge him.

My vision says no.
My pity says: Let us give him a trial.
My reason says in that way we will be caught.
Blessings.

19 June 1965

 

(The following letter from a Dining Room worker was sent to the Mother through the disciple.)
Dear Sweet Mother,
I am working at your Dining Room Service since last six years. When my wife died I left home for the Ashram, leaving my two daughters and a son to the care of my mother-in-law’s house. They are now aged 14 and 9 (daughters) and 10 (son). My mother-in-law, who has limited means, is unable to support them now. I pray to bring these motherless children here and let them grow up under your care. Awaiting your kind sanction and permission.

 

This is very nice — I would like to “shelter” the whole world, or at least all those who aspire for a better life. But we lack place and means.

You can tell him that just now I have refused to allow X

(working in the Blanchisserie**) to bring his wife and daughter... It is more a postponement than a refusal.
Let the town grow and the means increase and our hospitality also will be enlarged.
Blessings.

20 June 1965

 

Mother,

The people who cook at home do not relish the coconut oil we are giving them. They want groundnut oil instead.

They have been given coconut oil, that is why they want groundnut oil — but coconut oil is everywhere (even in Europe) considered as of a higher quality and much easier to digest.

** The Laundry.

However these are very minor things that can be adjusted according to their wish.

 

24 June 1965

 

Mother,
Just for your information; no reply expected.Some months back Y made one stainless steel cooker for our rice. We did many experiments with it. When itwas successful, he gave another. He will give more in July. By the end of July, he says, we shall be able to cook all our rice with steam.

But today Z has placed an order for some more cooking pots in aluminium, so that we may have sufficient pots to cook for the 5,000 persons we expect in February 1968.

In the normal course I would not have informed you about these little things, but it is better that you know so that overlapping may be avoided and you may not have to spend money on two sides for the same thing.

Although you do not ask for an answer, I must tell you that I have agreed for the vessels asked from Y; but nothing was told to me about the aluminium vessels of which I do not approve, because aluminium is not good for cooking. I am speaking of
my own experience.

Blessings.

 

26 June 1965

 

Mother,

I find it extremely unpleasant to bother you again and again, but I am obliged to write again. The alu minium pots are meant only for cooking rice. I thought they were safe for things that do not have salt or acid.But if you do not approve, we can cancel the order.

I may inform you in passing that when our French enamel basins were rejected, we got some Indian basins for curds, but their enamel was so bad that they began to smell in two days and they were discoloured. We were obliged to take up aluminium basins for curds as nothing better was available. That is continuing. In the villages they use clay pots, but here they bring many problems. We can try again for better enamel if you like.

 

My objection to aluminium is that it makes the food blackish and gives an unpleasant taste. If, however, it has not that effect upon rice, it is quite all right.

For curds it is certainly not advisable. Earthen vessels would be much better — the best if they are properly glazed.
Blessings.

 

27 June 1965

 

(The disciple was told that the Mother wanted him to do a certain unpleasant task. Though willing to do it, he was surprised by the request and therefore wrote to her.
His letter ends:)

I hope my relation with you is not such that you may have to ask me whether I will do this or that. I hope you have not to hesitate before asking me to do a certain work, pleasant or unpleasant.

 

No, when I want something from you, I tell you straight off, not through anybody, nor if it pleases you — because when I ask you something, I am sure that it must please you.

With love.

 

27 July 1965

 

Mother,

Every day X tells me his tale of misery. I am of opinion that one must accept unreservedly what comes from you. I know it is not easy; in that case one should either put it to you or even quarrel with you and the thing will get cleared up. After all, who else can help us in our difficulties? He does not like the idea. I don’t know how I can help him. Can you tell me why he is so rigid on this point and why he always gets into a sea of troubles?

Once more, the lack of faith of the human mind brings complications and pain where with a quiet faith in the Divine Guidance all could be very simple and easy. It is for the growth of this faith and confidence that I am working since so many years. Obviously the resistance is obstinate.
Blessings.

11 August 1965

 

Mother,

I used to laugh at people who said that they could not digest the Dining Room food. It is an irony that now I am finding some difficulty with the reformed food. I request you to adjust my body to the changes.

It is more mental than physical.

When some problem arises in the Bakery or Blanchisserie, it is put before me. I have found a trick: I postpone deciding and inwardly leave the matter in your hands. Automatically a solution comes and I get the credit.

This is indeed the true way and ought to be used in all cases.

 

I am not able to do the same where the Kitchen is concerned and I prefer to avoid it.

 

Because there is as yet too much of the ego mixed up with the kitchen affair.

 

I have always asked you to make me more and more useful in your service. For some time past the idea is coming that this is also an ambition and a personal demand and should be avoided like any other demand, that it should be left to you either to make me more useful or... On the face of it, it sounds good, but I fear that in my case it is a veiled demand of tamas and inertia or frustration — which I see clearly coming from outside as a contagion.

 

Aspiration is always good, and if some demand is mixed up with it, you can be sure that it will not be granted. I hope that the trouble in Kashmir is the first step towards the unity of India and Pakistan.**

The Supreme Wisdom is seeing to it.

Of one thing we must be convinced — all that happens is exactly what must happen in order to lead us and the world as quick as possible to the goal — the union with the Divine and ultimately the manifestation of the Divine.

And this faith — sincere and constant — is at once our help and protection.
Love.

 

 

2 September 1965

** On 1 September 1965 Pakistan invaded India, crossing the western border of Jammu-Kashmir. The conflict ended in a cease-fire three weeks later on 22 September.

 

Mother,

Y is on his way to Punjab. He has sent me a wire from Madras: “Situation changed. Wire instructions.” I think he is a little afraid of the war. May I reply: “Blessings unchanged. Proceed.”? He has gone with your blessings.

 

There is truly war up there.It is only if he is fearless that he can go.
Blessings.

 

7 September 1965

 

(The Mother’s message to the Prime Minister of India)

It is for the sake and the triumph of Truth that India is fighting and must fight until India and Pakistan have once more become One because that is the truth of their being.

16 September 1965

THE MOTHER

Here is my message on the occasion (corrected# because of the world’s condition of mind and feeling) — and some relevant quotations.

 

Your letter is welcome.
With love and blessings.

 

16 September 1965

# In her message, as written out for the disciple, the Mother crossed out “shall” and replaced it with “must”; the official message reads “must fight”.

 

 

Mother,

Due to the war and the threatening invasion, you must be having serious difficulty of money. We have about Rs. 4,000 with Z in the name of the Blanchisserie.
May I request you to treat that money as your own and take it whenever you need? By your grace, we shall be able to pull on till better times come. I have kept Rs. 100.
Please see that we are truly faithful to you during these days of trial. If we cannot do anything positive, at least let us not create problems for you. I pray that India may become truly yours.

This is a very comforting note which I do not hear often. It is much appreciated. Just now the Blanchisserie money will remain with the cashier.

Later on we shall see what becomes of the financial situation.
With love and blessings.

 

17 September 1965

 

Mother,
At the time of this temporary setback,15 let me pray: “Glory to Thee, O Lord, who triumphest over every obstacle.... Give us a faith active and ardent, absolute and unshakable in Thy Victory.”*

 

Let us wait and see. The result is sure — but the way and the time are uncertain.
Blessings.

 

23 September 1965

 

Mother,

When such people as X come and speak against you, I feel as if a big flame with many tongues is arising in me, and if it goes further I feel something which I like to call Kali’s presence. As soon as that comes, the person in front of me becomes docile. What is it?

It must be Kali’s force which you evoke.

For the school in Ludhiana — they want to call it Sri Aurobindo School. I think that your name or Sri Aurobindo’s name may be conferred upon an institution only after you are satisfied with their work, at least for a few
years.

 

Quite right.

 

Y who works with me claims that he is not keeping good health and should be relieved from most of his work. He used to work for 9 hours; it came down to 5; now he wants to work only for an hour or so.

 

This is quite ridiculous. If the man is paying nothing, you can tell him that if he reduces so much his work, we will be obliged to reduce his food proportionally — and then the health will become worse!

Blessings.

 

25 September 1965

 

* India’s acceptance of a cease-fire with Pakistan was considered by many, including the disciple, as a setback to the eventual reunification of the two countries.
** These are the first and last lines of the Mother’s prayer of 23 October 1937 in Prayers and Meditations.

 

 

Mother,

When they grind wheat with the stone mill, the bread does not rise and in spite of having the same quantity of flour, it looks smaller — so people ask for more bread. If they grind it with the iron mill, the bread swells more and gives more satisfaction.

 

But the vitamins are destroyed by the heat and an important part of the nourishment is lost.

 

3 October 1965

 

R, Are you scolding your students in the Hindi class? Answer to the question quite frankly and then I shall tell you why I put this strange question.
Blessings.

21 October 1965

 

(The disciple explained how he treated the students of his Hindi class, ending:)

Many people have told me that when I am serious, it appears that I am going to scold. But I am accustomed to making fun instead of scolding. I always hear laughter in response. But you can’t say. There are two students, X and Y, who are very weak; they never work and are always irregular. I told them that if they do not want to work they can give up the subject. Perhaps these two are finding me an oppressor.

 

It is exactly what I expected. It is a young girl who wrote to me complaining that you made her weep. Immediately I thought that she must be one of those who refuse to progress. But before telling her that she can leave the class, I wanted to be sure...

Perhaps you know who it is.
Love and blessings.

22 October 1965

 

Mother,

It was a shock for me to hear that of all the students Z has complained about my behaviour. Nobody has ever wept in my class. Z has been very intimate with me since she came to the Ashram. I am sorry that she has chosen to give up my subject; she had planned to work hard with me and make up for her past negligence. She always told me that she likes my class very much and I could see that she enjoyed it more than many others. It brings the same question: Can you trust anybody, and what is the use of working for these children when such is the reaction? There must be something seriously wrong with me which invites such allegations.

 

This is exactly the kind of treatment the Divine receives from the world. Even Sri Aurobindo was not spared. You see that you are in good company and there is no reason to despair.

 

23 October 1965

 

Mother,

For giving true education you have said: “Get out of conventions and insist on the growth of the soul.” I can write two pages on this, but actually I do not understand it at all. When I teach the Ramayana I can lay stress upon surrender to the Divine or such matters, but when I take up grammar or some other aspect of literature, what can I do to insist on the growth of the soul?

 

The contradiction comes from the fact that you want to “mentalise” and this is impossible. It is an attitude, an inside attitude mostly, but which governs the outside as much as possible.

It is something to be lived much more than to be taught.

Blessings.

 

28 October 1965

NOTICE

The whole of India is in acute food difficulty.

All food grains are rationed. I appeal to the goodwill of each one not to ask more than what is strictly indispensable.

 

November 1965

 

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If you have within you a psychic being sufficiently awake to watch over you, to prepare your path, it can draw towards you things which help you, draw people, books, circumstances, all sorts of little coincidences which come to you as though brought by some benevolent will and give you an indication, a help, a support to take decisions and turn you in the right direction. But once you have taken this decision, once you have decided to find the truth of your being, once you start sincerely on the road, then everything seems to conspire to help you to advance.

The Mother