I am Thine for eternity. - The Mother

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Letters to “My little smile”

 

My dear Mother,

Today I prayed to You with my body for ten hours**.

Next time I see You, I shall explain how embroider

ers fix the sari on the frame. The frame has to be as big

as the sari.

Mother, couldn’t I have a big frame like that, to

embroider the saris really nicely?

If I give you such a big frame, we shall have to build a room to
fit the frame in!

13 February 1933

*

** To pray with the body: to do one’s work as an offering to the Divine. The Mother has
written: “To work for the Divine is to pray with the body.” Words of the Mother – II,
CWM, Vol. 14, p. 299.


My dear Mother,
I worked on the sari for ten hours. I think I shall
finish this sari before 24th April.
Mother, I have nothing new to tell You.

You are a beautiful and skilful worker, my little smile, and I am
proud of you and your work, which is so lovely. I see that you
have written without making a single mistake!

14 February 1933

*

Dear Mother,

Today I prayed to You with my body for nine hours.
Now I have become regular again in all my work as
before.

Mother, what else?

This is good, my little smile; balance of the being is based upon
regular work.

27 February 1933

*

Did you notice the date today — 3.3.33?

Do you know that this happens only once in eleven years?
Eleven years ago, in 1922, in the month of February, it was possible to write 2.2.22 and eleven years from now, in the month
of April, it will be possible to write 4.4.44, and so on. It is
interesting, isn’t it?

3 March 1933

*

My dear Mother,
“Supramental beauty in the physical”*** — what does
it mean? All these things — all the arts, the beautiful

work we do for the Divine — are they expressions of

supramental beauty in the physical?

*** The Mother’s name for a light golden-orange Hibiscus.

 

No, all that is only the manifestation of a universal harmony
which lies, as it were, at the very heart of creation. But the
supramental beauty is something much higher and more perfect;
it is a beauty untainted by any ugliness and it does not need the
proximity of ugliness in order to look beautiful.

When the supramental forces descend into Matter in order
to manifest, this perfect beauty will express itself quite naturally
and spontaneously in all forms.

6 March 1933

*

I am very happy when I wear your saris, but I also wish to keep
them as carefully as one keeps works of art, and that is why I
do not wear them very often.

9 March 1933

*

My dear Mother,

This morning You gave me a flower which signi

fies “Consciousness turned towards the supramental

Light”.* What does this mean? I don’t understand.

If you put “Divine” instead of “supramental”, does that make
it clearer to you?

It means the consciousness that is not filled with the activities and influences of ordinary life, but is concentrated in an
aspiration towards the divine light, force, knowledge, joy.

Now do you understand?

23 March 1933

*

* The Mother’s name for a yellow-orange Sunflower (Helianthus).


My dear Mother,
Have You seen my little roses on Your gown? Are
they nice?

They are absolutely charming! It is impossible to say which is
the original and which the copy, and it may very well be that
the copy is even more beautiful than the original. You saw that
I was wearing the gown this evening when I went for a walk on
the terrace.

6 April 1933

*

My dear Mother,
Today I prayed to You with my body for nine hours.
Mother, for the past two days I have been feeling a

little tired, my hands have become a bit slow.

Don’t you think it would be a good idea for you to take a little
rest? That is, either take a full day’s rest or else work two hours
less each day.

13 April 1933

*

My dear Mother,
No, I don’t want to take a rest. Today I prayed to
You with my body for ten hours.

Then use Cou´e’s method* and repeat, “I am not tired, I cannot
be tired because I am protected!”

14 April 1933

*

* EmileCou´e(1857–1926),French doctor of Nancy who

developed a system of cure by auto-suggestion (Cou´eism).


My dear Mother,
Yes, X told me today that the frame would be completely ready this evening.
Today I worked nine hours on the blouse.

Little smile, you must not go on working to the point of fatigue.

10 June 1933

*

My dear Mother,

Not only do I work all day, but I want to work as
much as I can, hoping that I won’t get tired. If I don’t
work all day every day, how can I make so many big
and beautiful things such as I want to make for my dear,
dear Mother? How will my dreams be fulfilled if I waste
my time?

Mother, do You know, I am going to embroider
large curtains for Your room? You told me once that
the Japanese cover the walls of their rooms with embroidered curtains.

You are right; nothing is better than to realise our most beautiful
dreams and nothing makes us stronger and happier!

11 June 1933

*

My dear Mother,

Mother, do You know, it is I who ironed these two
blouses without spoiling them? This is the first time I
have ironed a blouse. Mother, give me a “bravo” for
this. Tomorrow I am going to start on the other grey
blouse.

This is worth far more than a “bravo”! This morning I was
literally filled with admiration. It is magnificent — the birds are
so beautiful and so very alive; I found their little heads with the

lovely little silver crests very beautiful, far more beautiful than
in the original drawing. The little diamonds are also very fine,
and in silver on the sari they will be magnificent. Where did you
do the ironing? It is good that you are learning.

21 June 1933

*

My dear Mother,

This morning I cut a chemise for You — it is the first
time I ever cut a chemise. X is going to stitch it and when
it is ready, You will wear it and then tell me if it is well
cut or not. Because if it is well cut, I can cut other things
without any hesitation.

Today also I worked all day.

I am very pleased that you have learned to do this too. What do
you mean by “all day”? I hope it is not more than nine hours,
because that was already a long stretch and ought not to be
increased.

26 June 1933

*

Mother,
Since this morning I have some pain in the pupil of
my left eye.

You must wash your eye with very warm boric water thrice a
day and do less embroidery for two or three days. Do just as I
tell you and remember that your work depends almost entirely
on your eyes. If your eyes were to get spoiled in any way, it
would be the end of your beautiful embroideries! When you
have pain, close your eyes for a few minutes and cover them
with the palms of your hands (without pressing). You will find
this very restful.

27 June 1933

*

My dear Mother,

I think all the trouble I took for X was in vain. I spent nearly

two hours this evening making her understand how to write

things very clearly. But in vain.

The trouble one takes like this for someone is never in vain.The
result may not appear immediately, but one day or another a
disinterested action bears its fruit.

26 July 1933

*

My dear Mother,
I shall tell You how I usually spend my evenings.
After seeing You go up to the terrace, I go and have
my meal. Then I return home and write my letter to You,
and then sometimes I wash our clothes (X’s and mine;
sometimes X washes them). Then I walk for an hour,
then I usually prepare my lesson and go to bed.

But last night after my walk at 9:30, I helped X to
sew with the sewing machine until 10:15. Then I worked
with the sewing machine until 11:45; then I did a bit of
lesson and at 12:30 I went to bed.

Today I worked on the blouse for three hours.

You must not get into the habit of going to bed late like that.
It is not good — you will quickly spoil your eyesight, and that
would be the end of your beautiful embroideries. The nerves
also get tired and then one no longer has the sure hand or the
precise movement, one loses one’s patience and calm and the
work one does is no longer neat and trim; everything becomes
an approximation and one has to give up all hope of achieving
any kind of perfection. I don’t think this is the result you want
to obtain!

31 July 1933

*

My dear Mother,
Today, August 15th, I didn’t work; I will start from
tomorrow.

I think you must have been proud today to see your superb sari

— it is truly regal; and as for me, I was proud of my little smile
and her beautiful work!

15 August 1933

*

My dear Mother,

I have started fixing the sari on the embroidery frame
and tomorrow this work will be finished. Afterwards I
shall start the embroidery.

I have nothing else to write to You. The only news I
have to give You is about my work.

You are very hardworking and painstaking, and if you have
nothing to tell me except news of your work, I have to tell you
of all my affection for my dear little smile.

22 August 1933

*

My dear Mother,

Today also I was busy fixing the sari on the frame,
but I saw that the sari was not quite straight. So now
I have only to undo this work — which took me three
days — soastodoitbetter.

It is rather tiresome for you, my dear little smile! But it is an
exact image of life, where one must constantly undo what has
been done in order to redo it better.

24 August 1933

*

My dear Mother,

I do not feel that I am working; I just play like a
child all day with the marvellous playthings my Mother
has given me to play with all day. I don’t know how to
write in any other way and that is why I write to You “I
worked” instead of “I played”.

Mother, I think the sari You wore today is my finest
embroidery, don’t You think so?

It is a work of art.It is simply splendid. I feel as if I were dressed
in light.

1 September 1933

*

My dear Mother,
I am working on the grey sari. What else? What can
I write to You?

Just a word is enough to keep the contact, and when you have
something interesting to tell me, you must do so.

16 October 1933

*

My dear Mother,
You have a lot of work; I don’t want to take up Your
time...

As you like, my little smile; I am very busy, it is true, but I could
have managed to give you a few minutes. It is nice of you to
think of not increasing my work unnecessarily; there are not
many like you.

13 November 1933

*

Mother,
Today I worked very little...

You did quite the right thing!

A great promise came from above for you yesterday6,the
promise that you will be delivered from all your difficulties and
that your mind will become luminously peaceful and your heart
quietly content. Did you feel anything?

25 November 1933

*

My dear Mother,

After the Darshan I was quiet and happy. At the
Ashram I saw X and Y and we talked together happily.
“How are you?” Y asked me. I had nothing to say, so I
asked, “And how are you?” She told me, “This time I
spent a lot of time; Sri Aurobindo put his hand on me
for a long time” and so on. Then X also said, “This time
I also spent a little more time, two or three minutes.”

Then it was lunchtime, so we went to take our plates.
I was first and I took my seat with a place on either side
of me. I thought X would sit on one side and Y on the
other. But then Z came and sat down beside me. I told
her to sit somewhere else and she got angry with me.
At that moment X and Y came and, seeing that Z was
angry with me, they did not sit with me. I was very hurt
because they did not sit with me.

Do not torment yourself, my little smile; all this has come to
teach you that on these occasions, after having had the joy of
receiving Sri Aurobindo’s blessing, it is better to remain concentrated and to keep one’s joy locked inside oneself rather than to
throw it out by mixing and talking with others. The experiences

6 November 24th, a Darshan day. On the three (later four) Darshan days each year, the sadhaks went before Sri Aurobindo and the Mother to receive their blessings.

we talk about evaporate and we lose the benefit they could have
brought us.

26 November 1933

*

Poor little X has become very sad... Are you so serious with her?

27 November 1933

*

Mother,

I am not angry with X. I always try to keep silent;
so I speak only about important things, with her as well
as with others; that is to say, if she asks me something I
answer her and I show her the work to be done.

Mother, I want Your presence and I try to keep it at
all times. I aspire towards You. I want You always, all
day and all night. I want to live always in Your heart,
where I can live constantly with X and with all who love
You.

I have noticed that when I am concentrated, or
rather when I try to concentrate, I cannot smile at anyone

and if I try to smile I feel as if I were smiling superficially.

Mother, this morning I wanted to tell all this to X,
but my lips refused; they didn’t want to smile.

Mother, is it good or bad not to be able to speak like
that? I want to know, because if it is not good I don’t
want it; I will go on speaking as before.

It is very good to remain silent and concentrated in your aspiration; and I am sure that if you keep a deep affection for X in your
heart, she will feel it and will no longer be sad. But, of course,
if you feel you can explain to her kindly what is happening in
you, it will be very good.

28 November 1933

*

Mother,
You keep promising me beautiful things and I keep
resisting them. How then can I ever be happy?

You must not worry — it does not help towards the realisation
of the promises; and also you must be patient. In this physical
world, things take time to get realised.

12 December 1933

*

Mother,

Once Sri Aurobindo wrote me something with some
words that I couldn’t read. I asked X to read them;
then he said, “You are the Mother’s child, not Sri Aurobindo’s.”

(It was just a joke, because I can read Your
handwriting but not Sri Aurobindo’s.)

Don’t you believe that when one is a child of the Mother,
one is at the same time a child of Sri Aurobindo, and vice-
versa?

16 December 1933

*

My dear Mother,

Yesterday and today I worked all day on the “iris”
sari. I love to work for You. Mother, I don’t know what
to write. I have nothing to say.

That is enough; all I ask is that we exchange a little “bonjour”7
every day. When you have something special or important or
interesting to write to me, you will write.

Tender love.

18 December 1933

*

7 “Good day”, the customary French greeting.


My dear Mother,

Today also I worked all day on the “iris” sari; I

won’t tell You how many hours I work because if I

write “I worked for ten hours”, You write to me, “It is

amazing”!

You are a courageous and energetic child.
Tender love.

19 December 1933

*

My dear Mother,
The “iris” flowers are very beautiful. Mother, what
do they signify?

“Aristocracy of beauty”. It is a noble flower which stands upright on its stalk. Its form has been stylised in the fleur-de-lis,
emblem of the kings of France.

23 December 1933

*

Mother,
Today also I worked all day on the blouse.

All my affection for my hardworking little smile.

29 December 1933

*

Mother,
What can I write? Today I worked on the sari.

What can I say? — that I am always with you in your work and
your rest, your sleep and your waking.

Affectionately.

3 January 1934

*

My dear Mother,
Yesterday while ironing the blouse I scorched it in a
few places.

I didn’t notice it, so it can’t be anything much. That is probably
why you looked so grave at Pranam this morning. You should
not torment yourself over such little things.

Tender love.

11 January 1934

*

I shall always be with you, my dear little child, in the struggle
and in the victory.

13 January 1934

*

Mother,
Today I worked on the sari for nine hours.

Then the work must be proceeding very fast. You have a marvellous capacity for work, my dear little child.

18 January 1934

*

My dear little child, why were you weeping so much this morning at Pranam? I was so sorry I could not comfort you. Won’t you
tell me about your sorrow so that I may remove it if possible?
You know that all my love is always with you as well as my best
will to help you out of your difficulties.

24 January 1934

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If you have within you a psychic being sufficiently awake to watch over you, to prepare your path, it can draw towards you things which help you, draw people, books, circumstances, all sorts of little coincidences which come to you as though brought by some benevolent will and give you an indication, a help, a support to take decisions and turn you in the right direction. But once you have taken this decision, once you have decided to find the truth of your being, once you start sincerely on the road, then everything seems to conspire to help you to advance.

The Mother