The aim here is fulfilment of the Divine in life and for that, union and solidarity are indispensable. "The ideal of the yoga is that all should be centred in and around the Divine and the life of the sadhaks must be founded on that firm foundation, their personal relations also should have the Divine for their centre.... Whatever relations they have with each other, all jealousy, strife, hatred, aversion, rancour and other evil vital feelings should be abandoned....

So, also, all egoistic love and attachment will have to disappear-the love that loves only for the ego's sake and, as soon as the ego is hurt and dissatisfied, ceases to love or even cherishes rancour and hate....
   It is not that one cannot have relations with people outside the circle of the sadhaks, but there too if the spiritual life grows within, it must necessarily affect the relation and spiritualise it on the sadhak's side. And there must be no such attachment as would make the relation an obstacle or a rival to the Divine.
         Attachment to family often is like that and, if so, it falls away from the sadhak. That is an exigence which, I think, should not be considered excessive. All that, however, can be progressively done; a severing of existing relations is necessary to some, it is not so for all. A transformation, however gradual, is indispensable, severance where severance is the right thing to do.

                                       SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga,ll, tome I. part II

As to sexual impulse, regard it not as. something horrible and attractive at the same time, but as a mistake and wrong movement of the lower nature.

                            SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga, II, tome II

The love which is turned towards the Divine ought not to be the usual vital feeling which men call by that name ; for that is not love, but only a vital desire, an instinct of appropriation, the impulse to possess and monopolise. Not only is this not the divine Love, but it ought not to be allowed to mix in the least degree in the yoga. The true love for the Divine is a self-giving, free of demand, full of submission and surrender; it makes no claim, imposes no condition, strikes no bargain, indulges in no violences of jealousy or pride or anger-for these things are not in its composition. In return the Divine Mother also gives herself, but freely.

..her presence in your mind, your vital, your physical consciousness, her power recreating you in the divine nature, taking up all the movements of your being and directing them towards perfection and fulfilment, her love enveloping you and carrying you in its arms Godwards. It is this that you must aspire to feel and possess in all your parts down to the very material, and here there is no limitation either of time or of completeness. If one truly aspires and gets it there ought to be no room for any other claim or for any disappointed desire.

                                SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga,ll. tome I

The Mother did not tell you that love is not an emotion, but that Divine Love is not an emotion,-a very different thing to say. Human love is made up of emotion, passion and desire,-all of them vital movements, therefore bound to the disabilities of the human vital nature. Emotion is an excellent and indispensable thing in human nature, in spite of all its shortcomings and dangers. But our aim is to go beyond emotion to the height and depth and intensity of the Divine Love and there feel through the inner psychic heart an inexhaustible oneness with the Divine which the spasmodic leapings of the vital emotion cannot reach or experience.

                                SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga,ll, tome I

It is a mistake to think that the vital alone has warmth and the psychic is something frigid without any flame in it. A clear limpid goodwill is a very good and desirable thing. But that is not what is meant by psychic love. Love is love and not merely goodwill. Psychic love can have a warmth and a flame as intense and more intense than the vital, only it is a pure fire, not dependent on the satisfaction of ego-desire or on the eating up of the fuel it embraces. It is a white flame, not a red one; but white heat is not inferior to the red variety in its ardour. It is true that the psychic love does not usually get its full play in human relations and human nature; it finds the fullness of its fire and ecstasy more easily when it is lifted towards the Divine.

You feel lonely because you want to be loved. Learn the joy of loving without demand, just for the joy of loving (the most wonderful joy in the world !) and you will never more feel lonely.

When the vital joins in the love for the Divine, it brings into it heroism, enthusiasm, intensity, absoluteness, exclusiveness, the spirit of self-sacrifice, the total and passionate self-giving of all the nature. It is the vital passion for the Divine that creates the spiritual heroes, conquerors or martyrs.

                                SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga,ll, tome I, part 11, 8

So long as the whole consciousness is not clear of doubtful stuff and the realisation of oneness confirmed in the supreme purity, the expression of the all-love is not advisable. It is by holding it in oneself that it becomes a real part of the nature, established and purified by joining with it the other realisations still to come. What you feel is only a first touch and to dissipate it by expression would be very imprudent. The sex and the vital might easily become active-I have known cases of very good yogis... in whom the visvaprema became the visvakiima, all-love becoming all-lust. This has happened with many both in Europe and the East. Even apart from that it is always best to solidify and confirm rather than to throw out and disperse. When the sadhana has progressed and the Knowledge from above comes to enlighten and guide the love, then it will be another matter. My insistence on rejection of all untransformed vital movements is based on experience, mine and others' and that of past yogas like the Vaishnava movement of Chaitanya (not to speak of the old Buddhist Sahaja dharma) which ended in much corruption. A wide movement such as that of all-love can only take place when the ground of Nature has been solidly prepared for it. I have no objection to your mixing with others, but only under a continual guard and control by a vigilant mind and will.

                                SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga, 11, tome I, part II, 8

[The Divine Grace, we give it that name] because we feel in the infinite Spirit or Self or Existence a Presence or a Being, a Consciousness that determines-that is what we speak of as the Divine-not a separate person, but the one Being of whom our individual self is a portion or a vessel It is an action from above or from within independent of mental causes which decides its own movement. We can call it the Divine Grace; we can call it the Self within choosing its own hour and way to manifest to the mental instrument on the surface; we can call it the flowering of the inner being or inner nature into self-realisation and self-knowledge. As something in us approaches it or as it presents itself to us, so the mind sees it. But in reality it is the same thing and the same process of the being in Nature.

                                SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga

Krishna's Grace calls whom it wills to call without any determining reason for the choice or the rejection, it is all his mercy, or else he calls the hearts that are ready to vibrate and leap up at his call-and even there he waits till the moment has come.

I t does not depend on outward merit or appearance of fitness.

The Gopis heard and rushed out into the forest -the others did not, or did they think it was only some rustic music or some rude cowherd-lover fluting to his sweetheart : not a call that learned and cultured or virtuous ears could recognise as the call of the Divine?

Some may have the adhikiira (readiness, preparation) for recognising Krishna's flute, some for the call of Christ, some for the dance of Shiva-to each his own way and his nature's answer to the Divine call.

                                SRI AUROBINDO, On Yoga